i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
