I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
