your parents love me but you hate me
did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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