yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
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I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
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Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
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