And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
Randomize
