Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
Randomize
