i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
