that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
cat food counts as protein by the way
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
BRING THE BAGELS
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
Randomize
