The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
3 2 1 whiskey
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
Randomize
