there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
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