Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
this hospital has no fireball
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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