I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
Randomize
