I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
My apartment stinks of burning failure
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