i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
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