So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
Randomize
