We're facebook friends in real life
Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
