yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
This dress was meant to end up on your floor
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
Randomize
