hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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