Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
I feel like I've been hit by a train. I woke up this morning covered in wine, free condoms, and a sign language dictionary.
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
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