I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
Randomize
