I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
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