Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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