Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Randomize
