Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
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