I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
Randomize
