I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
weddingsv make me drug and hornr
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
Randomize