i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
Found the puke drawer
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
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