so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Randomize