Duck Duck Cougar?
Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
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