they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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