She's JV to your varsity
so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
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