have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
Randomize
