the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
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