I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
I need to wash the frat house off of me
Randomize
