no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
