Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize
