Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
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