I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
She swung at the pinata with crutches
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
