I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
Randomize
