This girl is more easily done than said...
I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
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