my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
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