I want to stick my p in your. b.
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
Randomize
