Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
Why is there bacon in the couch?
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
Randomize
