I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize
