She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
The struggles of a small town man whore
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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