Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
two words: eviction party
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
Randomize
