The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
How external is "for external use only"?
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
Randomize
