Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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