am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
Randomize