I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP ππππ
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