I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
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