he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
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