you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
Randomize
