we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Randomize
