My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
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