Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
Randomize
