We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
Randomize
