What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
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