Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
I deserve to be covered in dicks
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
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