It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
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