I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Randomize
