apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
Randomize
