Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
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