I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
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