My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
Randomize