Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
Randomize
