Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
